“The most common gripe I hear in the workplace is
that people are not listened to.”
Listening is a specialised practice in much the same way as portraiture is a specialised art-form. Everyone can draw to some extent, we can all do a stick figure but not all of us can create an accurate representation of a person as we see them in our minds eye. So too, we can all listen or ‘hear’ as the case may be, but not so many of us truly listen skilfully.
When a person is relating an experience of theirs to another, usually within a few moments the other will want to respond in some way, well before the experience is relayed completely. Perhaps the listener has recalled a similar experience that they now want to share, perhaps they have the ‘solution’ to the perceived problem or the ‘right response’ to what they think they have heard. Perhaps they have a warning to offer; an interrogation to undertake; some preaching to do; a judgement to offer; an analysis; or any number of other responses that can loosely be termed as ‘hearing’. The words have barely washed over and the response is on the way. This is the level of listening to which most people adhere. Yet there is more, much much more.
I know this because for the two decades I have worked in the specialised theatre form of Playback Theatre Sydney. As a Playbacker, I am required to listen as other people relate experiences they have had in their life. Those experiences could range from anywhere, stories from childhood; parenthood; adolescence; work-life; home-life; hardship; success; you name it. When the story/experience is finished being related I am expected to participate in an improvised recreation of that experience as a piece of instantaneous theatre. I work with an ensemble of actors and a musician. We act out that experience, playing the various roles/characters involved; including all the relevant details/events provided and add dramatic tension/gravitas/humour/effect/stress wherever it is required.
Over a 20 year period I have developed a sense of listening that ranges over many levels to prepare myself for this role. Not only have I learnt to listen to the words that are spoken well enough to repeat back the story almost word for word.
I learnt about how to silence myself in order to listen to others in this multi-level way – I have developed techniques and exercises that help me come to that place of neutral/open listener.
I learnt about what was being communicated through the tone of voice and body language of the teller - often emotions not spoken of are hinted at in this way, hidden anger; joy; surprise; shock; frustration and all the rest of the gambit in our emotional range can be glimpsed.
I learnt to listen to myself as the story/ experience is being told – what images entered my thoughts in response to what I hear; what elements seem more important in the experience being related, what would I do or feel in that situation.
I learnt to listen intuitively, to trust that what I heard, felt and thought was relevant and that there was somehow other information that would come out in the re-enactment, that was not otherwise communicated, yet which was accurate and necessary nevertheless.
Most of all I learnt about just how much information can be perceived through in depth listening and just how great an effect it can have on the teller when they are listen to in this insightful way. When we communicate, even by phone, even by email, the amount of information that goes along with those words is staggering.
Think about the effect on your customers or clients when you display the skill of in-depth listening to what they have to say. What about the work relationships that could be forged and developed through the sharing of this skill. The most common gripe I hear in the workplace is that people are not listened to.
At Anthill Culture and Knowledge Development we teach groups of people about this form of in-depth listening. We don’t just point out the pitfalls of bad listening or the many ways to express good listening; we pass on the techniques and exercises that can be used to continually grow your listening skills. We get groups of people to practice these in-depth listening skills with each other in a participatory environment.
The by-product of Anthill Culture and Knowledge programs is often a happier work group; higher workplace morale; a more confident workplace communicator; a better functioning team; employees who want to stay at your workplace and happier more loyal customers/clients just to name a few.
Want to know more?
Find us at www.anthillckd.com.au
Or send an email to max@anthillckd.com.au Or joh@anthillckd.com.au
